Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
