I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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