I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
