barbara walters just said penis...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
