Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just cut my nipple shaving
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
