What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
