Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
