I'm going to jail i love you
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
