I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
