lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
