If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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