Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
