after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
