I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize