You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
