I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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