Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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