Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize