I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
