we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize