I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
