You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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