im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well I just put wine in my tea
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
