i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize