I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
