hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
