Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
