..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
