new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
