I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I met the friendliest cop last night
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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