oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize