i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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