PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
