I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
What a dumb baby whore.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
