This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
