There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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