why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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