what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
