These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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