A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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