My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
