oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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