K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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