Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
