North Korea, Best Korea!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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