I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
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The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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