Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
