Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
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come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
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Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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