Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
