First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
cat food counts as protein by the way
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
wow bdsm is so cute
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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