If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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