i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
