When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Everything about him screamed your future.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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