so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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