Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
