I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
