Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
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Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
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I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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