Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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