3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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