I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
