just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
