I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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