I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
