Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
