Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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