I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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